When I ask my clients "What do you do to nurture yourself?", the answer is invariably "Not much" and sometimes it can elicit a lot of emotion. As women we are so used to looking after and caring for others, whether it be your partner, children, friends, family or your job. We are usually good at making sure things run smoothly in our homes and everyone has what they need. When we are so focused on everyone else we often forget or just don't have any time left to take care of our own needs. This will then result in us feeling overwhelmed, tired, irritable, emotional and withdrawn.

At the beginning of this year I decided to embark on a Self Care journey following Cheryl Richardson's book the Art of Extreme Self Care. I knew that I was desperately in need of taking care of myself as I was feeling like I was in Ground Hog day everyday. I would be super organised, trying to do everything myself without asking for help, because that's what a mother does, right? The consequence of this was that I was feeling extremely overwhelmed, I was feeling exhaustion creeping in, I was irritable with my family, I would feel like I wanted to walk out the door or get in the car and drive off so I wouldn't have to deal with my kids endless fighting. I would have moments where the tears would start and I couldn't get them to stop and having to drop my four year at preschool praying no one would notice how upset I was. I felt like a mess and I knew something needed to change. I also knew that the only person who I had power over to change was me.

Every month I have gone through a chapter in her book and spent the month practising. This has made me more aware of my triggers so that I am able to take action sooner before I start spiralling. It has made me tune into myself and notice my own needs. Sometimes it has been easier to do and at other times I have felt myself falling back into old patterns. Now at least I know the signs when I am not looking after myself enough and can quickly remedy it. I also realised that I needed to ask for help and not expect it to be offered without communicating what I need. I started asking my children and husband for help with chores, even my 4 year old helps fold washing and set the table. I have also started letting go of the need to do everything. And most importantly I have let go of feeling guilty if I want to go lie on my bed and read my book for half an hour or put my headphones on and paint.

I think Guilt is the biggest hurdle in Self Care, which has been passed down to us from previous generations. Our female ancestors didn't practice Self Care but life was also very different. Life was simpler, extended families usually lived closer to each other offering help and support, they didn't have to juggle as much as we do nowadays with a faster pace of life and there wasn't as much technology.

Self care doesn't have to be complicated, it can be as simple as sitting down with a cuppa for 5 minutes and being present instead of thinking of your endless to-do list. It can be going for a walk, listening to music, journaling, just having some quiet time for yourself, reading a book, meeting a friend, actually seeing and taking in your surroundings. Anything really that makes you feel recharged and good. This needs to happen everyday, not once a week or occasionally. Get into the habit of nurturing yourself. This is not only important for you but if you have children, you need to teach them from a young age that it is OK to look after themselves. This is a gift to your children as they imitate you and will follow your lead.

Since I have started my Self Care journey, I have noticed the effect it has had on my family. There is a lot less fighting, I am not so overwhelmed and am better able to handle difficult situations, my children are learning that it is good to do things you enjoy and make you feel good. They are learning that many hands make light work, we are laughing more and having more fun as a family.

Self Care is absolutely essential if you want to be the best version of yourself. If you kept driving your car, ignoring the fuel warning light you would run out of fuel and wouldn't be able to go any further. The same thing happens to you when you don't practice Self Care. You need to top up your tank regularly with downtime, rest and activities that recharge you so you don't end up exhausted or getting ill.

If you would like to join me you can start anytime, even if you haven't done previous months. I sent out the monthly challenge last Monday, which is about how to protect your Sensitivity this month.

What do you do to nurture yourself?

I would love to hear your feedback or questions, so please post on my facebook page below or reply to this and let me know.


With love,