As life now tends to be a lot faster, with more to do, more responsibilities, less time, more pressure, it is easy to find ourselves stuck in a vicious cycle on a daily basis where we lose touch with ourselves and what we enjoy.

It can be a rather difficult question to answer, “What do you enjoy doing?” or “What brings you joy and makes you feel good?” or "What lights you up?". Somewhere along the way, we forget how to just be present and enjoy what we are doing in that moment, instead we become focused on our to-do lists and ticking off the items and tend to overthink when it comes to looking after ourselves.

With the pressure of having to work, look after children, educate our children, look after the house, do the shopping, cook, spend time with a spouse or partner, it can feel like there just isn’t any time left for you. This often leads to an imbalance in life, where you spend all your time giving out and doing without investing time in receiving, being and replenishing yourself.

When there is imbalance, there is usually overwhelm, resentment, a lack of joy and emotions like anger and frustration getting triggered.This radiates out and affects relationships and people you come into contact with. So what can we do to find the happiness and joy within us?

Restoring Balance

If you need to have lists that’s OK as most of us do, but the key is not to try and get everything done in one day. Have a general list and then first thing in the morning or on the weekend when you plan your day, choose a few things off your list that you need or would like to do that day.

Make sure that it is manageable and achievable so at the end of the day you can pat yourself on the back and feel good about achieving what you wanted to.

It is very important that you schedule in time for yourself on a daily basis, that should be the first item on your daily list. Even if you start with only 10 minutes, start getting used to giving yourself that gift and then you can gradually increase it. Treat it as an appointment, you wouldn’t miss a scheduled appointment would you?

When we allow ourselves down time and time to rest it actually makes us more productive than if we try and push on thinking there isn’t enough time.

Finding your Joy

Think back to when you were younger, was there something you really enjoyed doing? Or is there something you have always wanted to try? Don’t be afraid to try something new, you may have to try a few things before you find what you truly enjoy. It can be anything that makes you feel good.

Whether it’s sitting and having a cup of tea enjoying the stillness or, curling up with a good book or, catching up with friends or, working in your garden or, taking a dance class or, allowing yourself to have an afternoon nap without feeling guilty, start doing something on a daily basis that makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to be something big. It can be as simple as painting your nails.

When you start looking after yourself you will notice that you feel better about yourself, you feel happier because you are nurturing yourself, which revitalises and recharges you.

Let go of guilt

Often the emotion guilt comes up when you think about doing something for yourself. Maybe you feel it is selfish to look after yourself or that there is just too much to do that you don't have enough time to relax.

Where has this guilt come from? Is it something experienced in childhood where you weren’t allowed to relax or witnessed in parents reactions to each other when one of them relaxed? Deep down does this belief serve you now? Maybe it’s time to change it to something more nurturing like “I deserve to look after myself and feel good.” “I am more productive when I have rested.” "I am the best version of myself when I take care of my needs."

What brings you Joy and makes you feel nourished?

With love,