As it’s the month of love, this month’s focus is on, you guessed it, LOVE! In the words of The Beetles, All you need is Love. Nothing else really matters. We all want to feel loved and accepted, good enough just for who we are not because of what we do or have to offer. It is the most basic need we have. Studies have shown that babies who don’t receive love and touch don’t thrive, that need doesn’t change as we get older. At every stage of our lives we need Love and very often the hardest act is that of loving oneself.

We are usually hardest on ourselves and can find it incredibly difficult to truly love ourselves for the amazing and beautiful Souls we are, imperfect and flawed but whole with so much to offer the world. Our childhood and experiences all affect our ability to love ourselves and feel deserving of love and good in our life.

Love can conquer all, it is incredibly powerful. It can heal old wounds and reunite estranged loved ones. It can break down walls that have been erected around hearts. It can touch your Soul and bring you to tears with its purity. Do you remember feeling overwhelmed with emotion when staring at a beautiful sunrise or sunset or watching a child play or after the birth of a baby. That emotion is Love.

If you struggle with loving yourself, here are some suggestions to help you:

• Stop criticizing yourself – we are usually our toughest critics belittling ourselves and criticizing ourselves for the smallest things we do wrong or forget to do. See yourself as a small child under 5, would you talk to that child the way you talk to yourself? Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If you catch yourself doing this, stop and choose something more positive to say. It is a habit that will take practice to break.

• Stop focusing on worst case scenarios – we all do it, we are drawn to the worst scenario that could happen instead of seeing a positive outcome. We do it in relationships, jobs, illness and it usually doesn’t happen but causes us stress. Instead try focusing on something that makes you feel good or the outcome you would like and see what happens.

• Be gentle and kind with yourself – talk to yourself like you would to a dear friend. Be patient if you are trying to make changes in your life. Just because you don’t see results straight away doesn’t mean nothing is happening. When you plant a seed, it takes time and care before you see that first shoot. It is OK to make mistakes as they help us to grow and adapt. Don’t stop yourself from trying something out of a fear of failure or not doing it perfectly. Just give it a go and see what happens.

• Get still everyday and meditate in a way that works for you – slow down and give yourself time to tune in and start a conversation with yourself. You don’t have to be in a lotus position to do this. Going for a walk may work best for you, working in your garden, working with your hands and doing something creative or just breathing deeply. Get quiet and notice your thoughts without judgement.

• Praise yourself – praise builds you up and builds your self confidence.

• Ask for help – you don’t have to do everything on your own. An act of Self love is asking for help when you need it. We all love to give but when you ask for help, you give someone else the gift to give to you.

• Take care of your body – Putting the right nourishment into your body is an act of self love. Notice what food makes you feel good and energised and depleted and tired. What you put in is what you get out. Make choices that will make you feel good. Move your body in a way that you enjoy and is fun.

• Try mirror work in the morning - Look into a mirror and say ‘I love you. What can I do for you today? How can I make you happy?’ and see what your inner voice comes back with. Start listening to that inner voice, it may not respond straight away but keep practicing. Affirmations done in front of the mirror will help you see where your blocks are to loving yourself.

• Love yourself now in the present moment, don’t wait - Forgive yourself and the mistakes you have made in the past, it is done. What we do in the present creates our future so don’t waste another moment.

How will you start loving yourself more today?

I would love to hear from you, let me know what small things you will do to be a little kinder to yourself and to start loving yourself more.

With love,